Cloudy in Beijing Blogging about my time in China

Match maker

Yesterday one of my former students from Xi'an sent me a text message. He asked for help, and I was happy to see what I could do for him. But I wasn't quite prepared for the request.

"In America, are there any ways for the people there to find wives in China?" he asked.

"My aunt wants to find an American husband," he added. "Or if you know of any dating services, that could help too."

Naturally, I laughed. My former students don't need me to help them with their homework. Just play match maker for their family members.

I soon learned more about the situation: the aunt's husband had recently passed away. She complained that Chinese men are too complicated, and now she was hoping to find an American husband that was 50 to 60-years-old.

My student added that her aunt feels like foreigners don't have quite as many troubles as Chinese men, whatever that means. I wanted to know more, but I didn't want to make my student feel embarrassed. Instead, I went on the Internet and tried to see what I could find.

Apparently, there are a number of sites that specifically cater to foreign men looking for Chinese women. Such as ChineseLoveLinks, ChineseWife, ChineseLoving, Chinesekisses, etc. Just looking at these sites made me feel a little weird. There was even another website called LoveChineseGirls that offers tips to foreign men about how to meet Chinese women. In an article titled Why You Should Be Dating Chinese Women, the writer (most definitely a male) said:  "While it may sound sexist, a large number of Chinese women are raised to serve their man and be obedient to him."

As evidenced by my student's plea for help, there are also some Chinese women who have made it their goal to get married to a foreigner.

Recently I read an article on the Internet by a female Chinese college student that was titled 'China Does Not Have Any Men Suitable For Me.' From an excerpt:

Having said this much, that the environment is good, material things are good, this third point is what I value the most: I simply like Western men. Ever since I was small, I liked watching Western movies, such as Roman Holiday” or “Gone with the Wind,” and I liked watching the Westerners in the movies, their faces are all so sharp and distinctive, especially their charming coloured eyes, their straight pronounced noses, their tight smooth lips. Moreover, the majority of Westerners are tall, have strong and handsome physiques, and always so sexy. Then I look at the Chinese guys around me: Ignoring the small eyes, they have lumpy noses, thick lips, and if their skin is tanned a bit, they look remarkably like Africans. Those who have been educated almost all look malnourished, making me worried whether they can protect me or not. Occasionally, there is a muscular man, but despite having grown a head, they did not grow a brain.

I asked my Chinese language partner, who is a female in her 20's, what she thought about this.  She said there are more and more Chinese women who do desire to find a foreign guy. "These women are more open and flexible," she said. "They maybe feel that a Chinese man is too conservative and traditional. But that a foreign man is more appropriate for their lifestyle."

I suppose there are also certain people who aren't quite as receptive to this. My mom has always told me to be wary of Chinese girls on the mainland. They might just want to marry you for your money, she's warned.

There are definitely some interesting motives when it comes to this topic, and I'm sure most people have their own opinions. But for now, I guess I'll just play match maker and help my former student's aunt get hitched to a foreign guy.

(Photo credit of ChinaLoveLink.com)