Cloudy in Beijing Blogging about my time in China

More goodbyes

Recently one of my students called me a cow.

This is a good thing.

"A cow means that you are very outstanding," a student named Simon told me.

I later found out cow or ? is a slang term. My student further emphasized its meaning by calling me a big cow or ??.

"Thanks" I replied a bit awkwardly.

My classes are over. But the goodbyes are still coming in. Mainly through text messages on the phone, or via QQ instant messaging as Simon did yesterday.

"Michael, good luck!" another student texted me. "We all shy to talk with you. Actually you are a good teacher."

As for verbal goodbyes there haven't been many. Just a few waves and smiles here and there. It's no surprise since so many of my students are not only shy, but insecure about their English abilities.

"My English is poor," many of my students have often said to me at some point. They are far too modest, but I can understand their fear of making mistakes; I sometimes get a little embarrassed when I make a mistake in Chinese.

Yesterday a student named LinDa spoke to me on QQ. I wasn't always too fond of her class. The vibe I got from them was the students didn't care much about learning English, their faces sometimes tired, bored or asleep.

Once I even got mad at them for writing the names of absent students on the class attendance sheet. When I found out, I took the attendance sheet, crumpled it, dropped an F-word, and then threw the paper at my desk. (Sigh... I wish I hadn't sworn.)

LinDa's class was so quiet, I assumed they didn't care about me. But yesterday she wanted to set the record straight with me.

She pointed out to me that all the students were sad to see me go. But that they were even sadder because they couldn't express their sentiments in English to me.

"If you couldn't express yourself, wouldn't you feel sad?" she asked me.

I agreed and said "I should have just let you speak Chinese."

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On Thursday I took some pictures with one of my favorite classes. The funny part was when a student from another class came by. I couldn't remember his name, let alone the last time I saw him, because he hardly ever came to class.

Still, he wanted to have his picture taken with me.

"I'm sorry for missing so many of your classes, but I must be in a picture with you," he said.

So we took the picture, and then he graciously bowed a bit and we shook hands.

Other students have been taking pictures of me as well. Only that they are pulling out their cellphone cameras and snapping shots of me while I teach class.

I tell my students I'm nothing special; I had originally thought that they might have another foreign teacher next year. But it doesn't look like this is the case. A lot of my students won't have English class again, and will instead focus on their other studies.

"The next two year of my college we don't have English class, so I don't want to forget everything I have learned. I hope I can use it," one student texted me.

A few of my students have talked to me asking how can they improve their English once I'm gone. I don't have easy answers. "Study," I say.

In each of my last classes, however, I have told my students a corny story about myself, all revolving around how I hated learning Chinese when I was young.

I end by saying: "If I gave up learning Chinese, then I wouldn't be here in Xi'an. I would be back in America."

"So I hope you don't give up," I add.

I really do hope my students succeed. They're a good bunch.