Cloudy in Beijing Blogging about my time in China

Teaching limits

"Chinese Education is a failure," a student instant messaged me yesterday.

"They keep saying they will change, but they never do," he added. "It's terible (sic)."

This isn't the first time a student has told me this: how flawed Chinese education is. Last semester, during my first classes I would always end it by telling the students to give me some feedback on my teaching.

Practically all of the responses were positive, although whether my students were being totally honest I doubt; I would have laughed if anyone wrote to me, "Your class sucks!"

But some of the students were a bit more positive (and incidentally more depressing) than I would have imagined.

"This class is my most important and happy class," one student wrote "I feel you are my greatest English teacher in my college life."

"Its an unforgettable class. I want to go abroad," a different student wrote. "You are my best teacher in my life... The education of China is rubbish.

After telling me how exciting being taught by a foreigner was, one student wrote: "I'm sad for Chinese education."

"Make me forget my unhappiness," another student wrote.

From these responses I could only assume that many of my students had never been in class where the teaching was more active. During those first classes I would force my students to verbally introduce themselves, and later role-play as a rich-elite, middle-class teacher, and poor farmer. Then, I myself would pretend to be Arnold Schwarzenegger, and play some Michael Jackson for them to listen too.

It was all meant to encourage them to speak, all the while trying to make it fun. I didn't think it was anything special. But many of my students told me how "humorous" that first class was for them.

"It's funny, interesting and excellent," one student wrote. "I like this way of teaching, though, I don't think its very suitable to our Chinese students."

Students often have told me, that in the past, they learned English largely through just sitting in a class and listening to the teacher lecture. It's no surprise that many of my students are afraid to speak, since in China its expected that students remain silent whenever the teacher is going through a lesson. Verbal language skills, hence, are the big weaknesses among most Chinese students.

I remember at the start of my job I was driven to perform well on the job. Not just perform well, but be a fantastic teacher, like all the ones I had when I was growing up. Often, I bypassed the boring textbook and its mundane listening clips and instead loaded my lessons with speaking exercises and exciting videos. "Star Wars" and short videos of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" were even included.

The feedback I received from my students perhaps helped fuel this drive. But as I look at all of what I've accomplished so far, I don't know if I have much to show for it. (Unlike my past journalism job, I have no newspaper clippings I can show.)

Even after one semester with them, a lot of my students are still quiet, and its been hard to shake them out of their mute demeanors. I see them once only every two weeks, so class time is scarce, and I suppose some habits, ones that have been especially ingrained for so long, just die hard.

At the same time, the Chinese education system demands all my students pass an English test, that includes a listening section. The ability to speak well, however, is absent from the examination. In reality, I don't even know what use verbal English skills will have for many of my students, unless they travel abroad.

Not all of my students are exactly the study dynamos I had imagined either. The campus I teach at is ranked as a "third tier" school, which is not that high, and most students major in engineering or finance-related fields. So to some, English learning is just some benchmark/burden they need to pass.

Even as the new semester only began a month ago, my class attendance is already starting to trail off. Cheating, as I found out last semester, is apparently condoned to some degree. Yesterday I told my students at the end of class: "I can give you homework, but I don't think any of you will do it." Sigh...

"Some students don't have the educational foundation," is the commentary I often hear. Perhaps, but as a teacher, I try to shun such reasoning as "excuses" and stay committed to the job. I still do have many good students, and hope I can at least help them.

"I really want to improve my English!!" one student recently instant messaged me.

His name is Sam, and he is one of my kindest students. His major is International Finance, and so English is rather important for his prospective career. I want to help him as much as I can. But I'm not sure how, or if I'm willing.

I have many other students like Sam. Ones who want to improve their verbal English skills, but have no one to practice with. I wish my classes were arranged so that I could have class with my students more often, rather than just once every two weeks. (In college, I would have classes with my language teachers three to four times a week)

Over a week ago, I recently spent an hour practicing English with one student who wants to speak fluently. To another student, I gave a textbook on different speaking topics, after he told me he wanted to learn more practical language skills.

I've even contemplated holding a special class for my students who wish to learn more. But then I worry I'll be biting off more than I can chew. I also notice, In terms of teaching, I'm much happier and more relaxed this semester.

Mentally, last semester was tough. I tried so hard to teach well, but often times I felt dejected by it, like I was in some uphill battle I had no shot at winning. Now I've better restrained my passion, and realized my limits. Basically, I don't care as much. And as a result, I'm happier, with more time for myself.

"Your goal is to be a journalist, not a good teacher," my Chinese tutor told me weeks back. "You cannot have both," she said, speaking from her own teaching experiences.

She is probably right, though I'm still struggling to find ways to freelance as writer. (Perhaps I can't even have both). It is a bit ironic that the more "selfish" route is the solution in this case.

Still, I want to help. Especially, when I'm in a position to do so.